Open Conversations
Raising children to become good citizens and contributors to society is a hard job for most parents, but ultimately it’s worth it. When your children move out of the house and don’t need to return (at least for a long period of time) you will know the time you took to prepare them was time well spent.
My husband and I set high expectations for our children and for us. We intentionally wanted to be more involved with our children than our parents were with us. Many hours were spent assisting with homework, participating in the booster club, and ensuring at least one of us showed up at their extra-curricular activities. But most important, we spent time getting to know them.
I was molested as a child and it caused me to pay close attention to any change in my children’s behavior and conversations. Most of our time was consumed with the lives of our children. Thankfully, my husband and I had jobs that allowed for work-life balance; and when they didn’t, we had each other’s back. Working together as a team was important and we had to read from the same play book.
My suggestion is this: as a family, figure out what works for your children’s success and all will turn out well.
Heading back to school can be a great time to open up the lines of communication again. During the summer, a pass is usually given and children escape having to have the in depth conversations. But now that summer is over, get back into a rhythm and spend enough time to know your children’s body language and behaviors. This might help you notice if something is off kilter.
Helpful Tips/What to ask:
Make communicating with your loved ones a family priority and soon they will look forward to spending time together with you. Meals are a great time to laugh and enjoy each other’s company while learning what’s going on in school and elsewhere.
- What type of personality do you think your teacher has? Strict, Happy, Serious
- Do you have classmates that are new to the area and school?
- What did your friends do over the summer?
- When is the first PTA or parent teacher meeting?
- Do you like your lunch period? If they buy their lunch (how is the food) if not, did you bring enough to eat and did you have time to eat it?
- Anything exciting happen in the cafeteria?
- Were there any fights?
- How are you liking school so far and why?
*Remember not to ask too many questions all at once, you don’t want anyone to feel as if they’re being interrogated. 🙂
- Have a way to post all school communications. As a family, create a message board and calendar of events. This way everyone knows where to find notes and dates for each activity. Don’t forget to follow up.
- Discuss expectations once your child arrives home (homework, TV time or not, and how much, what snacks are appropriate and how much).
- Set expectations for grades and study time.
*Try to ask specific questions so your child’s responds isn’t “everything is fine.” 🙂
Signs that may indicate something may be happening to your child:
- Bruises
- Change in attitude (extravert to introvert) or gets agitated easily
- Loss of appetite
- Sleep patterns change
- Not wanting to be touched
- Grades are dropping
- Frequently feeling sick
- Piggy bank is broken
- Read their body language (look for signs of agitation could be bullying)
I hope these suggestions and tips are helpful and that you and your child to have a successful school year.